I read once somewhere that children are like pots, and that as a parent, every time you read a book to your kids, give them a hug, or do anything positive with them, you're depositing gold in that pot. You need to deposit as much gold as you can all along, so that when you and your child get to the hard times, i.e. the teenage years, you will have put so much gold in the pot, that if a few coins fall out, you'll still be parentally solvent, so to speak.
In other words, you will have invested your children with so many positive memories, that you can weather any storm. I so hope that's true, as I have been faithfully depositing gold in my children's pots for years, even when I may not have felt like it, and they might not have deserved it. Many is the night I've gone in and given a hug and kiss and "I love you" to a teenager who's been rotten that day. Don't get me wrong. They're still in trouble for their behavior. But they know Mom still loves them.
I found an article today that made me think about the pot of gold idea. It was written by a mom in Oregon who is quite familiar with the guilty side of mothering, the constant worry that every little decision we make will be "the" decision that sends our kid into therapy. It's clear she's hoping that she's put enough gold in the pot, that maybe even if she's not perfect, she will have been good enough.
It's a great article. It's In the Game of Parenting, We Can Only Rack Up So Many Good Mom Points by Dorcas Smucker in the Oregon Register-Guard.
Earlier Posts on this Subject:
I'm a Professional Mom
Beautiful Betty
Mom's Burnt Out Taxi Service